WHY WOMEN OVER 40 CAN’t Lose Weight
The answer to why dieting is so hard comes from understanding the challenges of women’s lives.
I’ve always loved eating, the trouble was, I never felt full. Once I’d polished off my dinner, I still needed more and I’d work my way through cupboards searching for something to stop the cravings. From the age of 12 I felt like that, but in those days, there wasn’t a lot in the cupboards, so it wasn’t until I left home that my insatiable appetite took its toll. Away from home, living in a rented house, I could have whatever I fancied, cream cakes, chocolate bars and pints of lager, often followed by takeaways. I put on 3 stone after leaving home and by 22, one of my friends told me I looked pregnant. That’s when I started dieting.
Diets do work. That is until we get bored of the meagre portions and the measuring and counting. Like so many, I ended up a classic yoyo dieter, but over the years my interest in dieting morphed into a passion for nutrition. What we eat doesn’t only influence our weight. It affects energy levels and alertness, digestion and bloating, cravings and appetite.
Slowly but surely, I learned how to manage my desire to overeat. Simple meal changes had the effect of switching off cravings. With a demanding career and a brutal commute, I planned meals which keep my energy levels consistent and my thinking sharp. As meal planning became routine, food stopped being the main thing I thought about and my weight stabilised.
But towards my late-40s the cravings came back with a vengeance. I knew what I should be eating but my willpower had gone. Desperate, I tried more extreme diets, but nothing stuck. My brain went into food overdrive again. Bad days outnumbered good days, and repeated promises to do better tomorrow were religiously broken. I was back again, trapped in a cycle of destructive eating.
Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. My beloved dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and two weeks later, I lost my job. Two months later we went into lockdown. I was burnt out, overwhelmed and menopausal and, like millions of others, worried about the future. As the world slowed down my thoughts became clearer, and I decided to retrain as a personal trainer. I’d been weight training for years and hoped that learning more about fitness and nutrition would give me some of the answers I’d been looking for myself.
By the time lockdown finished, I was qualified and had a lovely gym in my garden. Within weeks I was fully booked by women over 40. Most told me they wanted to lose weight, yet very few managed it. When I tried to find out what was going wrong, I noticed the same issues come up repeatedly. My clients were stressed and over-worked. Their lives were so focused on others that they had no time for themselves.
Something else became apparent. Despite initially telling me they wanted to lose weight, these women didn’t want a killer physique. They were done with diets that left them feeling hungry and deprived, yet their bodies were changing before their eyes and they didn’t understand why or what to do about it. Aches and pains were creeping in, and they didn’t feel as strong as they used to. Their energy was low and their motivation non-existent. It turned out what they really wanted was to regain control of their bodies and feel energetic, strong, and powerful.
Figuring out what they truly wanted was a revelation – and a relief. Letting go of the pressure to be permanently on a diet and constantly exercising was liberating. But to achieve their new goals, they still needed to improve their diets and find time to exercise. Finding the time and energy to make changes felt almost impossible.
I realised that telling clients what to do wasn’t enough, besides they already knew most of it. To help them make the changes they wanted to make, they needed to understand why they were finding eating healthy so hard.
The answer comes from understanding the pressure that society places on women.
Until now we’ve blamed ourselves for failing, but this book shines a light on how stress, self-neglect, family sabotage, menopause and even the food industry, have a powerful effect on why we eat too much of the wrong things. When we understand what’s really holding us back, we can put our effort into the things that truly have the power to help us change.
The Formula for Success
Success starts with a mindset change and firmly deciding that your health and well-being is a priority. This is so important for women, because unless we commit to prioritising our own needs, the demands of others will steal our time and energy, leaving nothing for us.
Having a truly motivating goal is also essential, so ditch the idea of a goal weight. Instead, ask yourself what you want for the next stage of your life. Whatever that is, you’ll need plenty of energy, to feel strong and capable and be brimming with self-confidence, and believe it or not, the right food and exercise can give you all of these too.
Body fat increases as we age because of several factors; declining muscle mass, becoming generally less active, eating too many calories and unbalanced hormones, the latter of which affects appetite, cravings and fat storage. To address these the book focuses on four weight changers; diet, exercise, sleep and stress management.
Diets fail because we don’t enjoy the food, we get too hungry and have strong cravings, so it’s vital to eat meals that you enjoy and that keep you feeling satisfied and full, ideally until your next meal. These are the basic rules to follow:
· Include a good serving of protein with every meal, add plenty of veg and make carbs (bread, potatoes, rice, pasta, noodles) the smallest part
· Eat three good meals a day which keep you full until the next meal
· Don’t snack. If you get hungry between meals, make main meals more filling
· Make sure you enjoy everything! Be prepared to experiment until you find your favourites
· Make as much of your food from scratch and eat as little highly processed food as possible
All exercise has fantastic health benefits, but it’s time to stop thinking about it in terms of burning calories. Walking, dancing, cycling, swimming are all great options, so do whatever you enjoy most. Enjoy exercise for the way it lifts your mood, improves your fitness, and helps you sleep better.
I’m a big fan of strength training because it is proven to be effective at increasing bone density and preserving muscle mass. Women are much stronger than they think and have great body awareness so they pick up the exercise techniques easily.
Whatever you go for, start small to begin with, especially if you are stressed or low on energy. Women often put too much pressure on themselves to go all in and start demanding exercise programmes, only to quickly burn themselves out. It’s far better to focus on creating a regular routine to begin with and gradually add more when you feel ready.
Don’t overlook the importance of getting a good night’s sleep and managing stress. Stress and sleep deprivation have a terrible effect on eating habits and spike hormones that increase abdominal fat. Get into a good sleep routine and try different things to manage your stress. This includes meditation or doing things you enjoy that allow your brain to switch off.
The basics are straightforward, so building consistency should be your main concern. Try the following:
Stay connected to your goal. Take time each day to remind yourself what you are working towards and why it is so important to you.
Learn from your mistakes. We have complicated relationships with food. When things don’t go to plan, don’t beat yourself up for giving into temptation, get curious instead. Perhaps you had a bad sleep and needed an energy boost. To have a better day next day, plan filling meals in advance and get and early night.
Focus on the small wins. Spending too much time thinking about big, far-away goals can feel overwhelming. Shift your focus onto the small wins and make one good decision at a time. A nourishing meal, a bracing walk, calling a friend when you feel lonely (instead of eating comfort food), taking a relaxing bath and getting an early night. Focus how good it feels to do small things for yourself and you’ll find yourself wanting to do more.
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